I absolutely hate when I am misunderstood.
Last month I was out and about and I made a comment that was completely misinterpreted. Funny how easy that can happen. I said something along the line of...
“I never thought I would be a working mom. I really just wanted to be a stay at home mom”
I am sure I rolled in my eyes in some dramatic disgusted way and sounded super annoyed. On that particular day at that particular moment, I was a little annoyed. Being a working mom can be a juggling act, and in that second I felt like I was dropping all the balls.
I 100% understand how someone could have misconstrued my words. I did put them out there for interpretation. For someone to add their own spin. I didn’t elaborate at all. I said it. And then I moved on to a different subject.
What I think the person heard..
I wanted to marry someone that afforded me a life style so I could sit at home and be some suburban real life “Toledo House Wife.” My calendar filled with shopping dates, massages and other luxury lifestyle accessories. Maybe sit on the couch eating bon bons. AS IF this is what most stay at home moms get to do, right? Ha. These things do sound heavenly. And let’s be honest I would enjoy the heck out of them. But that’s not what I meant.
NOT what I meant at all.
WHAT I KNOW I MEANT...
I want to wake up every single morning and make breakfast for my school aged child. A real breakfast, not just a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal with no milk because I didn’t forgot to go to the grocery store after working late the night before. And have a long meaningful breakfast conversation. Talk about the day that lays ahead of him. What is he most excited about? What is he most worried about?
Oh and I want to stay in my pajamas and snuggle my 9 month old.
Some days these things happens. I cherish those days.
I want to be home every day to get my Kindergartener off the school bus. I want to be the very first face he sees jumping off that school bus step. I want to hold his hand and walk him into the house. I want to sit at the kitchen table and go through his folder in a leisurely manner as soon as we walk in. On special occasions this happens, often times it does not. Usually the babysitter gets the pleasure of being his after school greeter.
I want to have the energy and the time to play. Just play. With no thoughts of how I should be sending an email, typing a report, checking my phone, working on a project. Don’t get me wrong I am proud of my work, so very thankful for my clients, happy to be a business owner. I take my work seriously, very seriously. So to play with no outside thoughts and worries sounds pretty magical. I’m working on this, as I know this one is possible even if you are working.
Look, I had daydreams of arts and crafts and adorable little lunches, before I even became a mom. Before Pinterest even existed. I thought I would be a stay at home mom. That’s not the case. Some days, I would even venture to say most days, I am in love with my life. With my work. With my balance of family and career. Other days though I feel like I am getting a big fat F- in every category. But I am doing my best. And I really do love the opportunity I have to work with my clients and my projects.
Words can be tricky when the whole picture isn’t painted. My whole picture consist of being the absolute best mom that I can be. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing and wonder if I would be doing a better job if I was a stay at home. But who knows maybe if I was at home I would feel I could do a better job if I was working out of the home. All I know is that I am determined to be the best I can in any and all roles I juggle, and to watch my words a little better.
ps- Totally not engaging in the so called Moms War. Being a working out of the home mom can be hard. Being a stay at home mom can be hard. I don’t think one is better or easier than the other. I think that if you want to be a stay at home mom and you are – You are fortunate. I think if you want to be a working mom and you are – You are fortunate. On most days, I feel pretty gosh darn fortunate.
XOXO - Brandi
I figured I better do this post, before it comes time to do Toddler Product Love. Having my two boys five years apart, I forgot all about the massive amount of equipment and accessories that an itty bitty little baby needs, ok maybe not “need,” but could use.
Let’s start with a true necessity, shall we? An infant car seat. I thought our infant seat was worth noting for two reasons. 1) It has lasted and withstood really well through four babies. Four. I got this in 2007 as a shower gift for my oldest. After he outgrew it, Lisa took it over for her two boys. Just when the good ole trusty infant seat thought it’s job was done..I needed it back for my baby #2. And seriously it still has some life in it. Definitely passes the durability test. 2) I love the base option. My parents and babysitter put extra bases in their cars. So easy. We also have the stroller that goes with this car seat system. Oh and if you have a winter baby, L-O-V-E the J.Cole Bundle Me.
Hey whatever helps a baby sleep, will probably be your most favorite infant product ever. For Blake, it was the Rock n’ Play. They didn’t even have these five years ago for Dylan. With it’s comfy incline, cuddly fabrics, mesh side and lightweight frame this product is genius. Seriously, why didn’t I think of this? So cozy for the little one and light enough that I could drag room to room. This was Blake’s sleepy home for eight weeks until he transitioned into his crib. I slept on the couch and had this little guy right by me. It can be a little tricky to figure out how best your baby will sleep - Swing, bassinet, in your bed, right to the crib. But if you are experimenting I do suggest trying the Rock n Play. Blake would even hang out in it when he was awake.
Nothing so fancy about this except that it was a perfect place for me to keep everything I needed for a quick diaper change. Plus if I was in a super big hurry out the door, I could just grab it and know I would have everything I needed.
This healthy sleep aid features six soothing sounds, a rotating picture projection and a three image disks to choose from. This was another baby shower gift with my first and he still uses it five years later as part of his bedtime routine. So I knew I was getting another one for our newest addition. I set the timer for 15 minutes and 99% of the time he is passed out by the time the lullaby stops playing.
Saving the best for last. This is My. Alltime. Favorite. I honestly cannot express how deep my love affair is for this infant product, that is not really even an infant product. I think most people use this as a security camera, but this ladies and gentlemen is my baby video monitor that I can access in real-time on my iPhone or computer through remote internet viewing. It has a great enhanced picture and color quality. I can zoom in and out or even move the camera.
Some other Ah-Mazing things about this: Night Vision, Two-way Audio (yes, I can talk and the babe can hear, and the other way around), Infrared Motion Detection, and I can take pictures or record what I’m viewing from my device.
What is your favorite infant product?
Who looks around everywhere before I enter the store Forever 21. I fear there’s some clothing police ready to arrest me for overage shopping. Because let’s face it we can’t dress like we are twenty-one forever, no matter the name of the store.
Who wishes I could operate on less sleep. Who thinks every single day I should have woke up earlier.
Who wears workout clothes when I don’t feel like getting ready. Hey if someone wants to assume that I’m some devoted gym rat because I have on running shoes, yoga pants and my hair is in a ponytail who am I to correct them.
Who lies about Chucke Cheese being closed for cleaning, because really I wish they were closed for cleaning.
Who considers grocery shopping without children a vacation.
Who cannot hear a Holiday Inn commercial or someone speak of the hotel chain without singing Pitbull’s We at the Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn song in my head.
Who has to facebook message people to call me because I can’t find my phone..only to have it ring in my back pocket. On the phone note..
Who digs through my bag frantically searching for my phone when I’m talking on it.
Who sometimes forget the reality stars from Real Housewives are really not my friends.
Who eats like I’m on a Weight Watchers commercial portioning out all sorts of healthiness all day long only to scarf down the first thing I see as soon as I get home.
Who would rather have my husband put gas in my car than buy me flowers.
Who one day loves the clothes in my closet to the next day having absolutely nothing to wear..nothing.
Who has absolutely no idea how to take a selfie.
Who never understood the whole mustache crave.
Who forgets how old I am on a regular basis. I think I’m in denial. Weekly I ask Denny how old I am only to have to ask him again the following week. It’s like my mind will not accept my age.
Who can star in a reality show calm, cool, collected and balancing it all one day but then star in the Snapped the next day. This confuses and slightly scares my husband.
Who in a sick kind of way looks forward to Mondays. It’s a fresh start to the week. It’s a mini New Years Eve. A new slate to set goals and set the tone for the whole week.
Please tell me I am not the only one.